the Good Old Days

I think I have this post in the back of my mind since a while an I needed a push to post it so I think I must thank Attawie for providing this push "Domo arigato Attawie chan" (yeah I'm in the mood for some Japanese... :)

it has been a while since I've noticed something which is that between every now and then all of us tend to look back and remember the good old days but frankly what good old days and were they really good?
the answer is that they probably not...! so why do we remember them and refer to them as the good old days although when they were our present days we used to think they suck big time and we just want the day to pass (and keep in mind I'm not talking about the good memories we had but rather the ordinary days) let's take an example here for the sake of clarity : as I started my job the job was mainly about studying and exams since I was a fresh engineer so we stayed till 3 am studying only to wake up at seven and go to work so it was really hard because your evaluation depends on your progress and I couldn't afford to mess up, anyway the point is as I now look back to these days I think "OH the good old days" although I was suffering in that period and just wanted everyday to just pass safely. That makes me wonder now if these days were good then what a shit whole is my life heading toward (forgive my french) and if every time I look back and think these were good days then that would only mean I'm heading downhill from bad to worst???!!!

and then another question pops up "was I happy then? and am I happy now" if I wasn't happy on that time then how would I remember these days as the good old days? and if I'm not happy now then how will I remember the present days in the future as the good old days? is my happiness now less than before? all these questions are so confusing yet they need to be answered.

after a while of having these confusing thoughts I've discovered something what I actually remember of these days was not the suffering or the tiredness but rather the sparkling moments I had with friends and co-workers and how I was vital, eager to learn and even afraid of the outcome since for me that was a good experience and even if it was not so good it is an experience. I'm happy to be able to endure it and I'm happy of the result. and as long as I haven't done anything to be ashamed of or hurt someone in the process. Since my is my life I live it how I want and there will definitely be some setbacks, sad moments and even a good deal of suffering yet I shall still live it, I shall learn from my mistakes, cherish the valuable moments and always keep in my mind the good old days and look forward to make my present days a good old days for my future and I hope that I'll always look back and let out a tender sigh and say "those were the good old days"....

may all your days be such a good old days if not don't keep sitting on your ass u have to make them... :)

P.S. I know the structure is week because I'm a bit busy and wrote this post in three days each day I wrote a part so u may see some inconsistency. thank u for your tolerance... :D

From life sign to life sign

I'm terribly sorry for not posting anything for this long but at least I have a good news on this post I've Finlay found a job and it is in Baghdad I work in a telecommunication equipments vendor company and at least it is a Job that I'll be able to learn new stuff from in order to improve myself. so till other opportunities appear I'm an NSS (Network Switching subsystem) engineer in Huawei. working with this company may not be described as comfortable since every now and then I'm implementing a project somewhere around Iraq but what can I say "No Pain No Gain" and you can not realized your dreams without putting the right amount of effort.

About leaving the country I won't leave Iraq without a destination knowing what I'm doing and why I'm doing it so until a WHERE, a WHAT and a WHY come up I think I'm staying here.

So till next Life sign (I'm just kidding I'll try to be around more) I would say take care and may God bless us all...

Update: I've stepped on this video on Youtube yesterday and it is hilarious so check it if u may...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lDDHR81PP6U

Some How "I'm still alive"

Greetings everybody sorry for not writing anything in such a long time but I have two reasons for that the first one (which is kinda lame) is that my internet line died for good and I was obliged to establish a new wireless connection and the second (which actually back up the first a bit) is that I was extremely busy finishing my graduation papers cause at first I thought that I would escape this hell whole (Iraq) but after all my plans failed to leave the country with some dignity so I'm busy now to find a job that is safe and may provide me with some experience and the search goes on and on.
Anyway I apologize for all the people that asked about me and I didn't reply them and thank u for ur concern.

In the end I just want to say Happy Eid everyone and may all ur wishes come true and since I'm at it ,Merry Christmas everyone and if it is not too much trouble I would really appreciate it if u may mention me in ur prayers and may God bless u all...

A comment on Kid's post

This a commnet I wrote on the Kids Post and since I'm extra Lazy to write anything new on my post so I'll use this comment as my new post...:D

Hey Kid how r u? I have few points about your post and they r:

First my dear please don’t take as a refrence a couple of books and the saying of an ordinary person and then consider that u’ve done a solid research. Indeed Ali Alwardi is a great writer but yet his writings expresses his opinions rather than information that might be used as a refrence for a research since for a research u need solid data from which u can draw your own colclusions. Relying on on pieces of information from and ordinary Iraqi (not a specialized one) since that person may not be considered a reliable source of information.

Second, You talked about how Shia claims that they rely on logic but they actually not since they actually try to misguide others by the tales about how Imam Al-Hussien was murdered and to magnify that tragedy in order to make others sympathize with them and to think that since Imam Al-Hussien was murdered then he was right. Well let me propose this rather CRAZY idea: is it not possible that Imam Al-Hussien is not right because he was murdered but rather he was murdered because he was right? Well u may say that many villains were killed but that doesn’t mean that they were right BUT how many villains were decapitated and then there heads were draged to other countries (at least not according to Islam) and if u may say that this is a myth then u may just go to Egypt to make sure. Life is not as easy as u many people thinks some times u have to pay a high price for standing for what u believe in so u may find it hard to absorb that Imam Al-Husseien had suffered that much for it is unbareable to even to think of it but that doesn’t mean that it didn’t happen. The fact that most Shia emphasize that tragedy is actually smart they r not trying to brain wash others but rather to remind them of the sacrafices and the pain of our leaders for fighting for what they believed, and as u may already know sorrow is hard to forget. It is just like if a guy died to save your life then u definitely won’t forget his sacrifice no matter after how long cause he sacrificed his life for u and that is why I think emphasizing the tragedies of Jesus Christ and Imam Al-Hussien is not an attempt to pressure but rather to remind us of what is important.

Third, it seems from your post that Shiasim is all about is “HATE”, to Abu Baker and Omar and Mauawya and Yazid and many more and u were missing the main idea. Why do u think Shia was named like that? It comes from the (شيعة اهل البيت) which means the followers of Prophet and his lawful descendant and when I say followers I mean that Shia follow commandment of the Prophet and his lawful descendants (the twelve Imam) and believe it or not most of Shia do know that the Imams r men and the fact that they r infallible is not pretty farfetched if u look at it with an open mind since if a person is born and raised on righteousness and with some help and guidance from God being infallible is not as impossible as people nowadays may picture it. As u may look at how they lived and what r their commandments u may never find something that against what is written in the holy Quran and the commandments of the Prophet so Shiasim is not about hating everyone save the Imams but rather it is about following their commandments and trying to live like them so the “foundation” for the Shia doctrine is how to obey the will of God and to follow the commandments of the Prophet and the Imams after him and the tragedies of Al-Zahraa and Imam Al-Hussein works just as a reminders that our survival till now is the result of great sacrifices made by great people and it is true that these tragedies r very important since these tragedies hold the persons feet firmly on the path he’s walking and giving him an extra push for him to move along.

Fourth, I quite agree with u that many people have forgotten why Imam Al-Hussein was killed and only focused on the fact that he was killed and that is all and that is a terrible thing to do since it is very essential to keep the memory of Imam Al-Hussein alive but the same importance goes to remembering why he was killed and what was he fighting for so it is more important to keep in our minds how Imam Al-Hussein lived than how he died so “Hussein's commemoration” is important in reminding us of that.

Thank u Kid for your post and I apologize for the long comment and I hope that u don’t mind that I’ve put it in my blog as a post since I’m to lazy to write anything new. Take care and may God bless u…

Some steam

I’ve written I post few days ago and I was about to put it on my blog but I decided not to since it contained “SCENES OF EXTREME VIOLENCE AND GORE” and I’ve decided to replace it with this peace…


Iraqi I am and this is my life
You live by the rules you die by a knife
Once I walked with head held high
Now in the shadows I crawl and lie
Cheap as a dogs my life does worth
Wherever I go east, west, south or north
But you know what? I no more care
When facing death in his eyes I stare
Watching people die, more numb I grow
Not knowing when I’m next in the death row
Every day death I do cheat
Some times I think death is a bitter sweet
I live in Iraq yet I don’t feel like home
Between a shootout and an exploding bomb
Once they said “keep head high for an Iraqi you are”
But now I hold it down to hide my scar…
Now I hold it down to hide my scar.

P.S. I’m not a poet so don’t bother looking for poetic faults.

Still ALIVE

Surprisingly I’m still alive and kicking and I’m very sorry for not writing anything for so long which may have developed certain worries among some of u and for that I sincerely apologize. The reason for not posting for all this long is that I’ve been terribly busy getting my M.Sc and with all the joy I may announce that the worst part is now over and although I didn’t get my certificate yet but I might be considered as a holder of a degree of Master of Science in Computer Engineering. So let me hear a three hooray for me and wish me luck with my papers…;D
Now to the bad news (may be not for everyone) I won’t be able to post for a while due to the fact that the heat is getting to me and I can’t gather enough thought for writing a post in other words “ME NO WRITE IN HOT WEATHER, ME NEED COOL DOWN” so either some miracle would happen and we r provided with electric power again or I’ll wait till it’ll cool down a bit.

Sorry again if I’ve made anyone worry and may God bless u all…

Hesitation

Few weeks ago I was numbing in front of the TV and what u know I’ve heard something interesting (for me at least) it is about on of the ministers of Belgium and that minister was in Spain to give a lecture in on of the universities (as I remember) and on his way there he saw a child drowning in the river so he jumped in the water and saved the child. U may say and what is so special about that? Well first of all he is a minister of a country who saved a child in another country but the most interesting thing is that being a minister u must be surrounded by body guards so the fact that he acted on his own not asking any of his body guards to save the child well that is something big (at least in my opinion) what I really admired about him is not his bravery (and he is brave) or his kindness (and he is kind) but rather what he believes in, u may wonder “and how is the world do u know what he believes in?” and that is a fair question since I don’t know his name or even what minister he is (and I apologize for that) well it is quite obvious that he valued the human life very much to act with no hesitation not so ever to save the child since many people may say “I would have saved the child if I was there” and there is no doubt about it but to act at that specific time with determination and no hesitation at all is what really matters.

Well u might be wondering now what made me talk about such old news? Well as I’ve heard this news I realized how connected this incident with my previous post and I decided to write a post about that but due to the fact that my Internet connection went dead on me AGAIN so I’ve forgot that until this morning where I was in my bed looking at the window so I noticed a little spider just standing there so I didn’t give much attention to it but I was waiting for a fly that was bugging me to stand still some where in order to kill it and after a while the fly paused few centimeters away from the spider and as soon the fly landed the spider jumped on it I was like WOW so I came near to them in order to observe from closer view and the fly started to struggle but the spider hold its ground and started to rap his web around the fly and in few seconds he was dragging it to his place so I stood there amazed by the way the spider caught the fly since as far as I know spiders build webs and the insects falls in them and that is how they feed but to see a spider hunt and insect on the fly well that is new for me. I started to think about the spider and the fly for a while (yes indeed I have nothing else to do) and how the spider saw the fly and decided to attack in a split of a second so after I got over my crush on the mighty spider I remembered the news about the minister and the child that I’ve heard few weeks ago.

Now back to the subject at hand I won’t be explaining how can the spider act like that cause we r not in Animal planet episode about insects but I’d rather discuss the actions of the minister of Belgium since I think it is more relevant to the subject. Now what made his eminence the minister act like that and how can he act with no hesitation not so ever while it is a matter of high importance since his life would be on stake. What allowed him to act like that while he can simply order one of his bodyguards to do that task for him while he remains safe and sound why didn’t he thought of that or may be to send for help which will also ensure his safety? Well the answer for that is that he simply couldn’t afford to think about it while the life of the child is on the stake he did what he did without thinking for him it must be just a common sense, u see a child drowning then u have to save him it doesn’t matter weather u r a minister or a common citizen. He didn’t ask anyone to go for help because there was no time for thinking it was time for actions so apparently for him the life of the child is way more important than his and that he had agreed to that fact long time ago that when the time for testing his beliefs has come he did what he had to without any hesitation. I believe that a lot of people have experienced that not knowing how and why they’ve acted in certain situation and a very popular example of such people is parents so if u have experienced parenting then u already know what I’m talking about since for a parent (at least normal parents) the safety of their child is their top priority and that was planted in them the minute they saw their new born child’s face so if something happens that may endanger their child u’ll find them acting without hesitation moving in lighting speed to save their child.

It is apparent that believing in something and being committed to it to the outmost level makes people act dauntlessly and resolutely so how can we reach such a level of commitment to what we believe in that there will be no doubt in our minds not so ever? How can we assure that we won’t chicken up or hesitate in our actions?

I remember an old Japanese saying that goes like “when u walk just walk, when u sit just sit but what ever u do don’t wobble”. I’ve talked in my previous post about how we should determine the code that we live by in order to specify what is important to us and simply writing it down and trying to remember it all the time in order not to deviate from the path we decided to take but unfortunately just having your own bushido and writing it down is not enough since we have to absorb it in our mind and soul in order to carry own our bushido in our daily life no matter what, in our happiest hours and darkest ones with no compromises or delusions since it is dangerous to accept compromises in our principles and even more dangerous when we r deluded in our way of life. So we have to determine our bushido being truly honest to ourselves as an example if I say that making money is the most important thing to me of all, then I have to think it over for a bit making sure that it is what I said it is putting all other things in one side of the scale and putting making money in the other and see am I willing to sacrifice all the other things for the sake of making big money and if I found myself willing to do so then I should work with no hesitation to achieve my goal. So the most important thing is to be convinced of your bushido it is not something that u could borrow from someone it is your own unique bushido so if u r not convince 1000% of your decision then how can u expect to act accordingly with no hesitation.
In other words u have to be honest to yourself when u r about to determine your bushido since if u don’t do that there is no point in limiting yourself to a code to live by in the first place.