Tuesday, March 13, 2007

And then there were mating

Although it is out of ordinary for me to talk in such a subject but I found it to be very interesting both funny and sad at the same time so I have to talk about it and for people who may find it offensive I apologize…

The story goes like this:
I have a friend who is a newly wed (let’s call him M) and since we both live in Iraq so I haven’t seen him since about 2 months although we live in the same district (well that is normal in Iraq) so the other day I was on the phone with a mutual friend of us who lives next door to M so I asked about M and the guy told me that lately he has been very gloomy and get pissed of easily and although M used to be a joke master the guy told me that M has fought with another guy because of a joke so I was extremely surprised and he told me that M is always sitting at the shop near his house and that he has become an unpleasant person to be with.
After I hung out the phone I started to think about M and I though how marriage has changed him this much since he was a cheerful guy joking about everything even in his darkest moments so I decided to go to see him against all the advises of my family to stay home (as if I’m going to a battle field) so I went to his house and here is what happened.
I knocked the door and after a minute M showed up with his big smile and he ran toward the door and he gave me a worm welcome with his usual cheerful style so I was a bit surprised but I though he was polite to greet me after a long period so he invited me in and we sat down. He started joking about the situation in Iraq and we did some chitchat for a while and I though why did they say that he is gloomy he is pretty cheerful to me. So after finishing all the stuff we could talk about I couldn't’t stand not to ask him so I said “the other day I talked to one of our friends and he told me that u were in a terrible shape and actually he got me worried but I see that he was wrong”. M paused for a while and then thanked me for my concern and he said “I was like shit indeed but now no more” so I told him that I’m glad to hear that and I asked him for the reason and he simply answered “Because it is summer now”. Actually that was an unexpected answer cause almost all Iraqis hate our summer cause it is very hot that u won’t know what hits u (I don’t believe anyone would understand till he sees for himself) so I was like “and so? R u going somewhere this summer” and he answered “ no I’m just glad that summer has come” when M saw that I didn’t get the idea of him loving the summer all of the sudden so he kindly explained that for my simple mind.
“u know that I’ve been married for about four months now and that I got married in winter?” I told him that I knew that but yet I don’t get the idea so he explained more. “in winter there is no electricity and no gas so u can’t boil any water and for a married man not having hot water is the worst thing ever, don’t u think so?”
Only then it hit me and it did so hard that I kept laughing with him for about 10 minutes and here is a simpler version for those who didn’t get it yet:
For Muslims, a Muslim has to have a shower after each time he have sex with his wife and he can’t go to his prayers unless he do so and since we have fiver prayers then he have to shower before the time of the prayer is on.
So M has explained that since he got married he had that problem and every time he sees his wife he get upset knowing that she is out of his reach although they r married and he get angry and blame anyone and anything so now while it is summer he won’t think about boiling water anymore at least till next winter…
So after we made few jokes about that and how the absence of electricity and fuel is part of a country wide scheme for birth control in Iraq and as Red Forman in “That 70’s” show says “best birth control method is not to do it”….;D so I left my friend enjoying his summer and I wished him that there won’t be any new schemes ( no water is another obstacle) and I wished him and all the Iraqis a healthy life…

P.S. this is an actual story and the permission to publish this information has been acquired from the persons related to this event.


aNarki-13 said...

Poor, POOR guy (and girl)!


well, all i can say is: Good for them for being able to control themselves for all that time.. and Good for them its summer now!

+ like u said, the added benefit of Birth Control :D

Konfused Kid said...

LOL. but please use fake names instead of Initials, they can get overwhelming.

that dude really restrained hisself, if it was moi i would've taken the cold water since day 1.

Kyubai said...

Anarki: well he has a great amount of self control and I may assume that they r catching up now to what they missed...;D

Kid: the letter that I used has nothing to do with the name of the guy I was just writing and I liked to use that letter (I did take the permission but not that much).
and indeed he was able to constrain himself since I know people that would jump in the cold water for simpler matters...;D

Konfused Kid said...

hey I just wanted to say something @ your last comment on the previous post. It is somewhat clear to me that you are discussing a subject of which you have only nominal religious education, I am not interested in further discussion in that religious direction as experience taught me it only creates problems and lead nowhere but in any case I will answer you on the points you mentioned.

1. You think Muawiya was the sort of all this, the mainstream Twelver Shia would actually point first to Abu Bakr & Omar, Uthman and then Muawiya and Yazid, as far as I know people like you are a small minority, according to Hasan al-Alawi's recent book.

2. All the things you ascribed to Muawiya are actually Yazid's and not Muawiya (unIslamic poems, etc..)

3. You cannot really rely on whatever source you have for information, because in Shiism Muawiya is simply a demon, and in Sunnism he is a reverred companion of the prophet, so you can't just come in and say 'for your information, Muawiya used to terrorize people', I think Muawiya wasn't a terrorist but a very persuasive fellow who knew people's weak points, Ali on the other hand was rigid and very idealistic, which led to the saying: 'Pray with Ali and eat with Muawiya'(Saif al-Khayat: Story of Shia in Iraq), again a very fitting representation of what sort of people Ali was fighting with, and whose hypocrisy and reluctance are the main reason for all this, in my own opinion.

4. You are stunned when you hear someone on Jordanian TV say Muawiya (Radhi Allah Anhu),lol, that shows how little you know about the subject, all Sunnis say Muawiya bin Abi Sufyaan (Radhi Allah ANHUMA), the same they say about Ali or HUssein (Radhi Allah Anhum), Sunnis have a theory called 'The Justice of the Companions.' He is not 'glorified' as you might think, Sunnis usually take the approach that while Imam Ali was the better of all who fought against him, all of them are considered companions worthy of esteem and should not be criticised or hurt.

In the end as you say, may god bless you and bless us all...

aNarki-13 said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
aNarki-13 said...

:). this is much better. right?

Kyubai said...

Kid: I'll say one thing "العفو عيني, العفو قلبي, العفو كبدي" and I quite agree with u that this is going no where so I'll just shut my whole and focus on what is important and may God bless u...

Anarki: much better indeed...:))

Konfused Kid said...

Yeah, much better.

David said...

This is a funny story! :) Hmmm, I think that I would have to take the cold shower option! :D

Has anybody thought to install a solar water heating system on the roof of their house? I am sure there are all sorts of inexpensive plans on the net that make use of common and cheap items.

Anastasia said...

Hello! You don't know me, I'm just dropping in.

That story is so funny! That poor guy... no wonder he was depressed!

My art teacher says that the best form of birth control is an advil... held tightly between the knees.

Anastasia said...


Hmm... you mean anarchy? lol. Things would be simpler that way... Government- who needs it anyway?

aNarki-13 said...


actually he means me: referring to my nickname: aNarki :) but its ok, with our government as it is, i guess chaos would be a little better even :)

LOL @the advil :D and the best thing is, it can be applied to both genders with the same 100% guaranteed results! :D

aNarki-13 said...


check this out!

some people have a lot of time and electricity, and talent! :D